My husband says that I tend to be rather pithy in my writing and that the nuance of what I am writing is sometimes lost on someone who isn’t sharing my experience. I recognize that my earlier post is a prime example of this. To be clear, I am not suicidal. I do have suicidal thoughts. I don’t listen to them.
These thoughts are a result of my bipolar disorder. I have no control over the thoughts, they are unrelated to my mood, or level of happiness. I do have control over how I deal with the thoughts. First, I remember that these aren’t my thoughts. Second, I remember that Bipolar lies. It tells you things that are utterly untrue and tries to draw you into depression or bounce you into mania.
Please don’t allow my comments that I have suicidal ideation concern you. I know what I need to do if I move from random thoughts in my head to feeling that way. I appreciate your concern and I want you to know that I’m okay.