Today

Something happened today which at first seemed manageable and easy to move past. But, as I sat there and thought my stomach dropped and my insides clenched and I thought, “please just hold on a little bit longer.” As that first tear slid down the side of my face, I thought, “you are stronger than this.” Maybe… or, maybe strength is found in a thousand different expressions of emotions.

I often look at my hands, which shake uncontrollably at times.I sometimes wonder if they are connected directly to the jangling nerves in my head. I catch my reflection in a computer screen and see a plastered-on smile that magically reaches my eyes and wonder how I get that to happen. Because the inside is empty, empty, empty.

Today, I took a step down the rabbit hole and you know it’s not so bad. You can see carrots from here.