I’m trying to keep it together.

Listen, when Marco Rubio is starting to make sense to me and Chris Christie is endorsing Donald Trump, I am on the verge of throwing my hands up in the air and saying, “I give up. This is just too crazy-pants for me.”

Mitch McConnell, you are so freaking concerned about President Obama appointing a Supreme Court Justice when this could be the downfall of your entire political party. Do you really think that the Republic Party can survive President Trump? DO SOMETHING! NOW! Invigorate your flagging base. Forget about the Evangelicals, evidently they can’t be trusted. They are an all over the place mess. Get them behind someone, anyone. You still have time. Or, perhaps you should talk to some nice Albanians mobsters. I understand they have reasonable prices.

I’m not dead

I’m not dead, but if I were my respiratory system wouldn’t have the fun of feeling prickly and icky and unable to draw in enough breath all at the same time. Click on the link if you would like a jolly fun reminder of Monty Python.

Hmm, since I’m not dead, and it seems that I’m not going to be dead anytime in the near future, on to other things. I’m on pins and needles waiting for the South Carolina and Nevada primary results. Wait, that’s not me. That was some analyst on NPR this morning. Hmm, I have something. Today, I sat in a room full of people that I am 100% certain that I am saner. Then again, that could happen at any Trump rally.

My life has gotten much less fun to write about since 80% of it is confidential. Here’s something though “Georgia State Senate: Body Passes Bill Allowing Faith-Based Exemption From Anti-Discrimination Laws.” I have one question has any minister ever been forced to marry anyone that they didn’t want to marry by the State or Federal government? No, you say. Why? Well, there is this awesome thing in the 1st Amendment to the Constitution that guarantees a SEPARATION of church and state. If your bigotted church refuses to marry people of the same gender or of different ethnicities it sucks, but the State and Feds can’t do anything about it. Unless, of course, they publicly endorse a political candidate for the pulpit. That can get your tax-exempt status pulled quickly. 

So, my lovely Georgians who were so up in arms, the people who are leading you, riling you up, telling you that this must happen or else, have been lying to you. I don’t know why? As a counselor, I have some ideas and most have to do with repression and deep self-hatred.

More than anything, why do YOU care so much? How does this impact your life in any way? Do you believe that hordes of homosexuals are going to come out of the woodworks and take over you town? Homosexuals live their lives just like everyone else. At some point in your life you were probably friends with one and didn’t even know. They buy houses, go to work, drive cares, and have children. Well, some of them do. The rest are off living fabulous dual income lives without nasty diapers, car seats, and the PTO.

Shaun the effing sheep

Ciaran doesn’t really like cartoons. They bore her after a few minutes. Then one day, I decided to try Shaun the Sheep on Amazon. No words, just random sounds and music. She loves it, all 4 seasons and 2 episodes of it. Over and over and over. Now this once charming and sweet show that reminds me of Wallace and Gromit makes my skin crawl.If I hear another bleating sheep or mumbling Scotsman, I may just run screaming from the building. Okay, probably not run, but walk quickly with dignity.

I feel conflicted

Antonin Scalia was the first justice that I remember being appointed (I was 5), and he was the first justice that I remember reading his opinions (around 12 or so). I remember believing that he personified evil at that young age. That he allowed his own beliefs to color his reading of the Constitution. He didn’t seem to like women or people of color very much. I thought that was ironic since a generation ago his ancestors would have been looked down upon. I remember thinking that he wasn’t a very good Catholic and that Pope John Paul II was probably embarrassed by him.

Then I grew older, and I realized that all of the things that I believed as a child were true except that Pope John Paul II probably didn’t have a problem with him. Though, I’m pretty sure that Pope Francis did not approve, if he bothered to give him any thought at all.

So, why am I conflicted? When my dear husband said that the justice had died, I actually clapped. It really was an automatic reaction. Something along the lines of, “hey, did you hear that Pol Pot finally died in exile?” clap, clap, clap. “That’s great news, a win for the Cambodian people back in 1998.” Instead, it was more along the lines of “That’s great news, maybe people will get to keep health care, women’s health won’t be further compromised, and maybe we can stop treating corporations like people.”

Ah, but he was the father of 9 and the grandfather of goodness knows how many. They are suffering and mourning just like you or I would be. Not to mention all of the crazy people who FEEL LIKE THEY KNOW HIM. You don’t know him, you never knew him. Perhaps you passed in a hall once, or had meaningful eye contact on tv, but you didn’t know him. Please leave his family and friends alone to mourn.

For the love all that is holy…

Hulu, I don’t want to watch the Flash, I’ve never wanted to watch the Flash, and why when I am sick and drowsy and unable to find the remote control do you insist on going to the Flash. It adds insult to strep throat and upper respiratory infection injury.

On top of that, I had to miss the Shrove Tuesday pancake dinner at church. Don’t get me wrong, the pancakes that Mama and Daddy brought home were wonderful, but just not the same. Also, Daddy let the Queen eat sausage, non-organic, oily, disgusting, sausage.

The Queen’s Brow

I think that most mothers consider how they think they will react to the first time that their child is injured or has an emergency room visit. Since the Queen spent the first 9 weeks of her life in the NICU, I know hospital. I know scary calls from a doctor. I have cultivated a “this is going okay” attitude.

The Queen’s first visit to the ER was the result of an early walking accident and a xylophone mallet. Her favorite Lady freaked out (with good reason), and we were at the emergency room within 10 minutes. I think that we were in and out of the ER within an hour. I love small towns with efficient emergency staffs. The whole time, I thought “she’s going to be okay, her favorite Lady may have a heart attack, but the Queen is going to be fine.”

Tonight, when I received the call that the Queen had fallen, hit her head on the fireplace, and needed to go the ER, I panicked for a minute. I said to my husband, “I have the car seat, you can’t take her without the car seat.” My sweet Daughter #1 was holding her tightly in the backseat after running out of the house without shoes. Don’t worry, we came together less than 2 miles from home and there was a car seat.

We spent 6 hours at the ER. Okay, after the Queen went through Triage in hour 2, I took Daughter #1 to buy a pair of shoes. I felt comfortable doing that because the Queen was entertaining the waiting room and my husband had things under control. The Queen now has 4 stitches in her brow, but she’s okay. I knew that she would be. She’s still the same angry fighter that she was that was when she was born.

Okay, now I have to go wake up the Queen. It will make her ecstatic I’m certain.