I just can’t take you seriously

I may be a bad person, biased, and several other things, but if you write a dedication on your Master’s thesis (is that a thing? I wrote one and I didn’t dedicate it to anyone) and dedicate it to “The Good Lord Jesus Christ” and your “MOMMY!!!!,” I can’t take you seriously as a scholar. No, I’m sorry. Perhaps if it were one or the other, but not both. Or, maybe your “MOMMY!!!!” without the caps and the 4!. I love my mother, but what grade is this? Also, poor form disclosing your brother’s full name and mental illness. Thanks, sis.

Note to my sister: You have my full permission to post my full name and mental illnesses at any time that you want. I am not ashamed. Besides, you may remember one that I’ve forgotten.

Illness induced low-level panic

I have a project due tomorrow night. I know exactly what I would like to write about but I am being stymied by the acknowledged lack of research on the topic. Seriously, everyone from the American Medical Association to the American Psychological Association to the National Institutes of Health and National Institutes of Mental Health all agree that this is a problem. A problem that is so obvious that if someone who just do the FREAKING RESEARCH that we could agree and start moving forward. HOWEVER, if we did the research that would cost money, and this population pays very little in taxes (working poor). What difference does it make if they have health problems caused by stress?! They aren’t my health problems, or your health problems. They receive the minimum standard of care. EXCEPT, overall, providing preventive care would save BILLIONS in tax money.

Sorry, like I said, I am experiencing low-level panic because I have been sick all week and this project is due Monday at 3:00 a.m.

Most interesting thing in the first 3 days

During the first 3 days at my internship, I have been asked numerous times if I am Hispanic. People assuming that I am that I am Hispanic doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s just weird, it hasn’t happened since I lived in Texas many years ago.

The most interesting thing is that it isn’t just one ethnic group who has asked. Very odd. Now, I just smile and say, “No, my great, great, great grandmother was Muskcogee Indian.”

It is not for me to decide

In the last year, I’ve had more than one “friend” ask me if I am still “pro-abortion.” I’ve always thought that term was strange, pro-abortion, I’ve never met anyone who was pro-abortion. Maybe some members of the white power movement support mass abortion of the mongrel hordes, but not a single person that I’ve ever met has wanted there to be more abortions. Wait, I’m getting off-track here.

The reason that they asked was because I was a new mother, to a precious little girl, and my pregnancy was life threatening and we both just held on for 29 weeks and 1 day. The thing that these friends don’t understand was that have my darling Queen solidified my commitment to the Pro-Choice movement in a way that not being a mother failed to do.

  1. During the 9 weeks that the Queen was in the NICU, I would often stay awake long into the night. One of the things that I often thought about was how lucky that I was. Even in the very beginning, when she would scare us half to death frequently. I knew that I was lucky because I remember being 19-years old and escorting a woman who had desperately wanted her child into a woman’s clinic. At her 20-week check-up, the doctor had found that the baby, a boy, was missing most of his brain, other organs were malformed, and he would die before he came to term. The doctor gave her a list of clinics and told her not to wait. She sobbed every step. Sometimes abortions are necessary. It is not your place or mine to tell this woman that she needed to carry her dying son and then his corpse. The mental cruelty of that is beyond belief.
  2. Being a mother is difficult. Yes, that was possibly the understatement of the day. Motherhood should be a choice. I know that statistically that most pregnancies are not planned but it should be the woman’s choice to continue the pregnancy. Not  everyone wants to be a mother, wants to be a mother right now, or dare I say it, should be a mother. Yes, I’m taking a stand, not every woman should be a mother and not every man should be a father. They will be bad at it and it will only lead to children with problems.

I’m stopping the list because the last and most important think that I have to say should be separate. It’s not my business, or your business, or the legislature’s business. This is a decision between a woman and her doctor. It may upset you, disgust you, or anger you, but unless you pinky promise swear to raise each child born as if it is your very, very own then you don’t get to force someone to have a baby. I know they are so sweet and cute inside the body and not needing anything, but soon it will be milk, diapers, and clothes. You’re onboard for that, right?


Celebrating 43 years of Roe v. Wade on January 22, 2016!



Morning with the boy child

I walked into the kitchen this morning and the boy child looked up from his computer and said, “they murdered me.”

“At least, it wasn’t in your sleep,”I replied.

“My stepmother doesn’t care that I was murdered.”

“No, I care if you are murdered, but if you are awake you have a fighting chance. If you are asleep then they can just kill you.”

“Hmm… you have a point.”

I’m not that kind of mother

To begin with, I want to say that being a mother is difficult and that the choices that you make are your choices to make. Whether you breastfeed exclusively, use formula exclusively, or some combination, I commend you on making that choice for yourself and your child. If you decide to baptise your infant, have a B’rit Milah or B’rit Bat, whisper the Adhan, say a sacred pray, or eschew all of these things as silly and unnecessary, I’m good with that. If you are not physically, mentally, or emotionally abusing or damaging your child(ren), I have very little to say to you.

But, there is another type of mother that I find myself wanting to run from at every opportunity. I think that we all know this mom, I’m sure that we’ve all been this mom at some point, and I’m positive that we were all this woman before we had children. Judgmental mom. Today, at Target, which seems to be the second home of Judgemental mom, I encountered a pack of these women. Also, what is up with the mom packs? I have literally no friends and I’m a nice person. Back to the experience, they are loudly commenting on this other mom’s inability to get control of her 4/5-year-old son. They were loud enough that she could hear increasing volume. The boy’s mother was trying to soothe him, talk to him calmly, and avoided looking him directly in the eyes. She was trying to slowly move him out of the store. My best guess is that the boy has an autism spectrum disorder. I say that because I hear the beginning of this breakdown. The mother and son were in the bathroom and the toilet flushed. The boy began screaming about the noise being too loud and wanting to leave. He became increasingly hysterical with every flush in the next minute. I saw two minutes of this woman’s life, and I wished that I was able to do something to make it easier. All I could do was smile as I walked past her, and promise myself that would remember that there is often far more to the story than we see. It isn’t fair to make a judgment based on our narrow and biased opinion.

I also promised myself that as my toddler grows older, and we interact with more children that I would rather remain solitary than to become part of a pack of judgmental moms.

Three years to think about our crimes


Today, the Episcopal Church in America has received the religious equivalent of having its hand slapped and sent to the corner to think about its choices for the next 3 years. It seems that the Anglican Communion, specifically Bishops from African countries who dominate, feel very strongly about the “liberal” leanings of the American church regarding LGBT issues. Here are my two cents on that, if you support the regime of a country that actively harasses, persecutes, and executes LGBT individuals then your opinion really doesn’t matter. You aren’t a very good Christian.

Sunday morning, when I serve as 2nd reader and read the Prayers of the People, I will definitely be praying for our holy, catholic church that it may be one. More than anything, I pray that the hearts and minds of those so hardened to their fellow humans will change in the next three years.


Update: Open Letter to Evangelical Minister

After our initial thoughtful letter, the rude minister’s response letter, and my e-mail response, I received two interesting emails this week.

From the Head Elder of the Church:

I am sorry you have been hurt by <church>. It was no one’s intentions to hurt anyone or overlook any family situation.

There is much to learn on both sides here and <church> leadership will discuss and determine what we need to do with our process to prevent this situation in the future.

If either of you would like to meet to discuss this situation, please email me and let me know.

From the Minster that wrote the rude letter:

I am indeed sorry that I personally failed to minister to you and your family in a critical time.y  Rest assured this is not the norm nor acceptable outreach of <church>.  Thankfully there was  local body of believers who faithfully walked with <our> family in a critical and scary time.

State of the Union

I didn’t watch the State of the Union address. I think the last one that I saw was during the Clinton Administration. It was around that time that I realized that the false good will of politicians spelled disaster for you and me.  It’s not that I dislike President Obama, rather I think that he is a man doing the very best he can in an impossible situation. I didn’t vote for him, I often disagree with him, but I often agree with him. Besides, he nominated Justice Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court and that was an excellent decision.

So, I’m making a list of characteristics that are no-goes for me in a presidential candidate

  1. Not Donald Trump. I don’t think that needs an explanation.
  2. No one who believes crazy crap or who lies about his past when it’s easy to fact check. (Ben Carsons)
  3. Someone who can lie so well that he convinces himself. (Ted Cruz – Please see: So how can we tell when Ted Cruz is lying?)
  4. Idealism that outways common sense, even if I like your idealism. (Bernie Sanders)

Wow, I’m glad that I have months to make decision. Maybe some of these losers will fall out between now and June.  I mean no one expected Barack Obama to pull ahead of the Democratic pack in January 2008.

Regardless, God forbid Donald Trump. Отъеби́сь! 


Lightly tapping

This afternoon, I thought that I would be able to take a nap with the queen. After having her bottle, she put both hands on my face and placed her forehead on my forehead. I thought, how sweet, she’s never done that.

Just as I started to doze off to sleep she began lightly tapping her head against mine. I tried to move away, but she just snuggled closer. The head tapping continued for 1.5 hours. When the queen awoke she slapped me hard on the cheek and told me to get up.